My Eyes Open Slightly at a Dewaniya

Rambling

     During my tenure in Kuwait, I had the pleasure of meeting many people and being exposed to a truly unfamiliar culture. While Kuwait is very much westernized, there are many area-specific and cultural traditions that are very much alive and well. Getting married? How about a low interest government loan to get you guys started. Sweet. Can you prove your lineage is "true" Kuwaiti? Bingo, bango... enjoy your yearly stipend from governmental oil profits. These sorts of courtesies are not extended to the those that cannot prove their lineage, regardless of their tenure in the country (this includes some nomadic tribes that have been in the area for hundreds of years).

[ah, see... there I go rambling far away from my initial point]

The Conversation

     Ah yes, the actual initial point of the post. One of the area's cultural norms (common throughout Islamic lands) is extending hospitality to your guests. From Saladin allowing water and food into the Holy Land during its siege to the present, that tradition continues to this day. I had the pleasure of being invited to a Dewaniya with my comrades several times. It was a very welcoming experience and was extremely enjoyable. Oh, and let me tell you, the food was as fantastic as the sound of a Maserati's engine. (For those of you non-automotive types, it's a fricken' beautiful noise).

     During my third such casual Dewaniya I spoke at some length with a retired Kuwaiti Major (I think that is the equivalent rank --- my memory is a bit foggy). You and the host will usually politely avoid issues that may disrupt the scene, but I had a question [albeit a simple question] that had always begged to be asked. The dinner was beginning to wind down and me and a fairly reserved older gentleman were sitting by the coals. He had served during the invasion of Kuwait until several years after the U.S. involvement in the Gulf War.

     "I certainly don't mean to be a bother, but I am truly curious... how do you... how do you feel about Americans? How do the Kuwaitis feel about us? Do not worry, I take no offense if it is negative, I am just truly curious." I asked after some small talk and over a cup of Turkish coffee (holy crap that stuff was strong).

     He furrowed his brow a bit, looked at his coffee, looked up and then leaned forward towards me. "Well, it depends on the person. Some do not like you, this is true. Many like you and many are somewhere in between." he said, pausing for a minute to look off into the distance. His mind was wandering a though I'm not sure what for. It was clear he was thinking, perhaps trying to find a polite way to express his thoughts and also to painfully remember some of his experiences. "I cannot speak for all of Kuwait necessarily, I can speak for myself. I personally like the U.S. I went to college there and I enjoyed my experience." He pauses for a moment again as the servant freshened our cups.

     He continues, "You see --- I truly appreciated the U.S. when they came. When they came to our defense against Sadam that is. The base you stay at is --- I lost many dear friends in that war. If you go along that wall, you will find bullet holes. Some of my friends were lined up there." He pauses again, presses his lips together and places his coffee on the table. "I was happy that you came, but the U.S. came far too late. I lost many friends and some family before the U.S. finally came to our aid. So I greatly appreciate the U.S. on one hand, but I wish they could have taken action much sooner. I think that sums up the opinion in a way. We were glad when you came, but you came too late." He wouldn't say it because he was polite, but the rest of the opinion would read something along the lines of "and many wish that now you would go."

     He genuinely enjoyed our company and was very frank and forward in conversation. All around an excellent host as he had always been.  The points he made in the conversation were from an angle I had never been aware of, due in part to my age and the war occurring when I was quite young. It was like he was saying that he likes the U.S. and many even want to like the U.S., but sometimes we make it pretty dang difficult to be liked.

My Thoughts

     U.S. involvement outside its borders is not always bad. In truth, I think many times the greater desire is truly to help an oppressed people [I'm not stating it's necessarily true of the politicians]. Like many great intentions however, the failure occurs in the execution.

     One of the few times we can justify going to battle and we take too dang long getting to it.  Cursed for our action.  Cursed for our inaction.